Archive for April, 2010

Election Fever?- Thank Heaven for the Queen Mum

 I was given a copy of the Queen Mother’s biography for Christmas and progress with this weighty tome has been slow even for an avid reader such as myself. Well thanks to old Culpability Brown, I think I have now found the ideal way of avoiding the drivel and hot air of the forthcoming General Election campaign.

No doubt “She who wears the Trousers” will be taking an interest in what Dave or more likely his wife says and does; but for me, I’m finding it wearisome already. The first Leaders debate is on Thursday, so close attention will be paid to what the leaders have to say – or more realistically don’t say.

I have only three points of interest regarding these debates:

1. Will Nick Clegg bring his Mrs along?

2. Will Gordon Brown be wearing that same purple tie?

3. Will “Dave” have a special parting in his hair for the event?

Answers on a postcard please, but don’t give them to Royal Mail: their recent track record with local to local correspondence does not inspire me with much confidence.

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Four Transits, Five Workmen and a Large Hole

You know the old joke about utility companies – how there’s always one digging and five watching? Not so long back, I saw a variation of this in action on the main street which runs through our village. There they were: four vans liveried in utility company signage, five workmen peering into a freshly dug hole by the back gates to the local primary school…. and no-one digging!

A couple of days later at about 11 o’clock on what was a bright sunny day, I passed by the same location and what did I see? Nothing, nada, niet as the picture below illustrates.

See if the Gas Board will fill it in!

In what has now become an all-too familiar sight on our streets, a utility company arrives en masse to tear up the footpath, installs temporary traffic lights most drivers ignore, and two days later we still have…. a large hole in the ground!

Granted, while this in itself is far from unique, the picture below also illustrates yet another piece of  joined up thinking ( NOT ) from those responsible for Clayhanger’s highways and byways. This one being near the old railway bridge further up the road.

Too bad if you're waiting for a bus!

One wonders if the tax money we pay to those making such decisions perhaps spend a little too much time ticking boxes, and not enough taking in the local scenery. This is not recent by the way; the powers that be were told over a year ago when it was first erected, and yet, we still wait for the apperance of that mythical creature, an officer from Walsall Council’s Highways Department possessing that all-too rare quality –  a modicum of common sense.

With such qualities seemingly as rare as Rocking-Horse manure, I suppose it must also be true that there really are fairies at the bottom of the garden!

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Horror of Horrors – The Ploughmans Pie is no More!

I could not believe it last Easter Monday, when “She Who Wears the Trousers” and I, ventured into our local Morrisons Supermarket. There we were, after two hard days re-planting the garden, salivating at the prospect of a large piece of calorie loaded, cholesterol inducing, artery hardening English goodness that is the ploughmans pork, cheese and pickle pie;  only to find that it’s been withdrawn from sale!

We were forced instead to suffer the inferior alternative of ordinary slicing pie. It’s an absolute outrage: So much so that I shall be waging a campaign to have our favourite stodgy delicacy, restored to it’s rightful place next to the Scotch Eggs and Sausage Rolls on the fresh deli counter. Since he rode off into the sunset standards would appear to have slipped, so I appeal to you, Sir Ken Morrison, please reconsider this assault on our tastebuds  – your deli  needs you!

I have posted a  photo of the offending material for your information and non-gratification.

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